I can't seem to lose this baby weight.
My teeth make me look like a redneck.
I have a "muffin top" that just won't seem to go away.
Stupid acne.
If only my teeth were straighter/whiter.
I hate hate hate my varicose veins.
Leave the house without makeup? Ha!
I have more stretch marks than the elastic in the pants I have to wear.
My hair is too frizzy.
Ugh, wrinkles.
I just can't seem to shed these last, stubborn 20 pounds.
Does any of this sound familiar?
Why do we want to change these things? Often, the things we hate the most about our appearance are things we can do nothing about-- the shape or size of your nose. The way your second toe is longer than your big toe. Dimples. Wrinkles. Freckles. The thickness of your hair (or lack thereof). Your crooked pinky finger.
I happen to know a sweet soul who has visible rolls of fat on her thighs, an abnormally big head, is bald, and has only gums to bear her smiles. I realize she doesn't sound pretty, but she is absolutely one of the most beautiful people I know. Her name is Ezra, and she's my 2-month-old daughter. Talk about perspective, huh :)
It's almost laughable to think of a baby's physical characteristics as ugly or inexcusable. But I have to wonder how God sees His girls. Maybe He doesn't see a few extra pounds, stretch marks and varicose veins, but instead sees a woman He called and equipped to motherhood. Or if maybe He views the woman who's morbidly obese as His precious princess who struggles with overeating or maybe is still unable to cope with the molestation she endured as a child.
The Bible doesn't mention these things specifically. But through the eyes of a loving parent, I can begin to imagine what God may see.
Take, for instance, my 4-year-old daughter who has been richly gifted with external beauty. I can imagine her on the playground with her little girlfriends, scrutinizing their "flaws." All it would take is one little girl spreading the viral idea that "dimples are ugly" to send my daughter home in tears, thinking she is somehow worth less than her friends because of her dimples-- one of my favorite features!!
I think God winces at the entire concept of air brushing. We do it to people to make them look better (according to who?), and the effect is that none of us can ever equate to that standard. Feeling ugly because we don't look like the cover girl on Cosmo is as logical as my dog wanting to look like the star of Blues Clues.
God wants so much more than that for His girls. Proverbs 4:23 says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." How can we love other people and help them see what God sees if our own hearts are filled with disdain for ourselves? We don't allow even ourselves to see our created beauty because we're so wrapped up in the flaws we're told to look at. Our "dimples" if you will.
I was recently in a wedding as a bride's maid-- three weeks after birthing a baby. Talk about self conscious! Anyway, we carpooled to the salon in the morning to have our hair beautified. Until then, I didn't know my hair could look so way cool. It's a drab shade of dish water. And when it's not tied up for cooking, cleaning, or Play-doh, it hangs heavily down in a very boring, frizzy, no-layer-type fashion. But in its up-do, it had shrieks of highlights and twistiness. Very fun.
Then I had makeup applied to my face (since I don't wear it otherwise, and can't tell eyeliner from lip liner) with a subtle but flattering look. I was of course wearing a fun, pretty dress and had AMAZING Converse All Star shoes to complete the look of "Glam Meets Fun."
Adding all those things together should have granted me a sense royalty. And part of me did feel cute and wonderfully beautiful. But the few times my eyes met a mirror, my heart heaved a deep sigh if disapproval. Every bit of beauty that could be accentuated WAS, and it still wasn't enough. I observed attributes like the weird shape of my nose, wrinkles creasing my face, and other "flaws" that I've come to hate.
I found it impossible to give myself permission to just feel pretty. Even for the day.
The truth is that we have an enemy (and it's not Society :) ). There's a blanket of shame that he somehow gets us to hide behind. We can never get to a place where we feel truly beautiful. And if we ever do brush against the feeling of beauty, we dismiss the idea as fantasy or vanity. "Who am I to say I'm pretty?"
My encouragement to you today is to live like you're really His girl.
If my daughter has any "flaws," I truly don't know what they are. I love everything about her-- from her dimples to her moles and freckles to her little toenails. None of those things are imperfections to me. They're just things that are unique to her.
I myself need to stop looking at mirrors, and make the choice to look into His face and run to His arms instead. They are open, accepting, and will tell me I'm beautiful as much as I will hear it.
Psalm 45:10-11 "Listen, daughter, and pay careful attention: Forget your people and your father’s house. Let the king be enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord."
