Silence in Storms

I listened to a sermon yesterday titled, "Why Does Our Faith Fail?" It was about Peter walking on the water with Jesus. Honestly, even I wasn't very excited to listen to the message, because I kind of felt like I knew all there was to know about that passage. And having been in church nearly 30 years (and having attended a rigorous Christian school for 7 of those years), I was pretty sure that by now, I knew not to "take my eyes off Jesus in the midst of life's storms."

*Yawn*

But I guess I'm not as awesomely smart as I thought I was. Because a few new concepts popped up on my radar. I'll save the best for last :)

The first is something that wasn't necessarily "new" for me, but the way it was presented in the Bible was a twist on my perspective. It's simply that the old adage of "the safest place for you to be is in God's will" is a misnomer. Here are a few examples:

• Prophets like Elijah and John the Baptist resided in deserts, living off of insects and food that birds brought to them.
• The prophet Ezekiel had to lay on the ground on his left side for over a year (Ezekiel 4:5).
• Jesus was in God's will. We all know how that ended for Him.

Clearly, being in God's will isn't any indication of "prosperity" or easy living.

But Mark 6:45 says, "Jesus made his disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him." Not that He offered them the option, but that He "made" them. He knew that there was a whopper of a storm coming. Yet He sent them out AND left them.

The second thing I learned was shocking to me and blew me away. If we read on in Mark 6. . . well, let me just quote it for you-- with minimal interruption. My words are in brackets.

"Later that night, the boat was in the middle of the lake, and he [Jesus] was alone on land. He saw the disciples straining at the oars, because the wind was against them [He saw them in the midst of their struggle]. Shortly before dawn he went out to them, walking on the lake. He was about to pass by them, but when they saw him walking on the lake, they thought he was a ghost. They cried out, because they all saw him and were terrified."

Wait. . . did you see that? "He was about to pass them by." No way!! Check out a few other translations:

• "He would have passed them by." KJV
• "He meant to pass by them." ESV
• "He intended to go past them." NLT

In each translation, every time, the phrase is followed with "but. . ." And it's beautiful. The reason Jesus stopped to help, the reason Peter got to walk on water, and the reason the whole storm subsided was because they "cried out." And it wasn't a well-worded plea, premised with eloquent, poetic praise. They were scared out of their minds, crying out in fear.

I kind of wish the Bible included what they had said. But the incident was recorded in three books of the Bible, each of which was written either by the hand of a disciple who was there, or by a man who had interviewed a disciple. And I bet they weren't talking :)

Regardless, the fact remains that the sound of His children's cry stopped Him in His tracks and altered His path. I think it's easy to buy into the idea that God has some concrete slab carved out with our exact moves and His exact response. That there's no spontaneity in the Deity. And that concept puts a pretty heavy damper on a person's prayer life. What is the point?

But this passage (along with some Old Testament examples) portrays a God who is sometimes willing to set aside His omniscience, and treat us as if He is on our level. He is powerful enough (and in His own right) to vaporize me, yet He is willing to sit with me on my bed and chat. That is the God I'm excited to know more.

It's Your Call

As Christians, we often get wrapped up in what God may call us to do some day. And our projected dreams are grandiose; we will minister to an indigenous African tribe or start a Panamanian orphanage or rescue all the greyhounds of the world-- in the name of Jesus.

Not many aspiring college students have ambitious goals of applying for a degree in factory work or janitorial services or cashiering or dish washing or farm hand-ing. And yet this is where many of us land, holding to a status of "less than." We believe that, "If only [fill in the blank] then I could be happy and do the Lord's work."

The truth is that whether you're 6 or 106, wherever you are, you are called. You are called to be free (Galatians 5:13), to love (Matthew 22:35-39), and to exude fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-24). You may argue that these are just general callings to all believers. That you can fulfill these no matter your vocation.

That is my point.

You are called to be where you are. I often listen to a pastor named Steven Furtick. Several weeks ago, he preached a sermon titled "Can't Call It," which has stirred up a fresh outlook for me.

I am a stay-at-home mom, so I spend every day with my kids. On good days, I realize that this is blessing. But most of the time, I'm just trying to make it through the burden of another day. If I can just press on until the next time they're in bed, I'll be able to breathe easy. If they can play by themselves, I can get things done. If I can sit and type up a blog post without pink, little feet on my keyboard or being summoned for more juice, potty help or various sibling injustices, THEN I can be a great writer.

But what if I started viewing their interruptions as invitations instead of irritations?

I have been challenged to start calling my calling what it is. The Bible tells me that my kids are a blessing, and they are! What if I started calling them that? It's possible that by calling them a blessing, I may begin to believe that they are a blessing. And if I treat them like a blessing, they may start acting like a blessing.

Maybe for you, you need to quit griping about your dead-end job and rename it your "temporary assignment" or your "training ground." If you refer to your marriage as "the old ball and chain," it's going to feel like the old ball and chain. If you complain that the demands of life are stressful instead of thanking God that you're able-bodied and busy and not stuck in a hospital bed somewhere, then you're going to feel stressed.

"When you call it like God sees it, God will change it to make it what He knows it truly has the potential to be." -Steven Furtick

On the Run

Friends and faithful readers, it has been many months since I've blogged. Part of it has been laziness or simple lack of inspiration. But for the past few months, my reason has been more noble.

The whole purpose for starting this blog was to exercise the "writing" muscles in my brain. The hope was to hone in my skills enough to properly write a book. Not just any book, but my story.

Throughout the 15 years Rodney and I have been together, I have been unfaithful on many levels and on too many occasions. I've talked to many other women who have also been unfaithful. And most of them share a sense that they are alone. That they are the first and only ones to experience the emotions that come with this branch of life.

Someone once told me (in a lofty, philosophical tone) that your story doesn't matter until you share it. I disagree with that to some degree. But God has brought me through a struggle of great magnitude, and if I could be used to help women with insight I have gained, why would I NOT want to share that?

To get to the point, I am taking this weekend specifically to work just on this project. I'm leaving tonight to spend the next 2 days in the home of a generous family who has no little kids and no responsibility for me. I will be spending most of my time plopped in front of a computer screen, typing words to women I may never meet.

I know I will need prayer in this.

1) I need to have a clear mind. Everyone is familiar with "writer's block," and I would like very much to NOT encounter that this weekend. I've been given a time that's rich with potential, and I don't want it to go to waste.

2) I ask that you pray for spiritual protection. Undertaking the task of this book has brought on strife in my marriage, dreams of old flames, the desire to seek out other men, and other oddities that can be attributed to the hand of our enemy. He is not excited about this project, and he has made that abundantly clear.

3) Pray for my remaining family at home. Rodney isn't used to running this place without my assistance. With this week's release of a new computer game, he will likely be working on less sleep. And Murphy's Law ensures that the kids will certainly be more needy and difficult :)

Thank you in advance for caring for my family in this way.

I am going "off the grid" until Sunday afternoon. So I will see you all on the flip side :)