A man challenge

This particular post is bring written primarily to men. That being said, I'll put my main point first and add the supportive fluff second.

You should read and do the Love Dare.

Do you want to know why? Okay well first, do you know what it is? There's a movie that came out a few years ago called Fireproof. It has cheesy acting, but it's good. The movie revolves around a dissatisfied, argumentative married couple with a very disrespectful wife. Like any good movie, it of course lets the couple overcome their differences. Awe. But a main tool in the husband's ability to win his wife and rekindle his own feelings is his willingness to try the Love Dare that his dad gives him.

The movie is fictional, but the book used in it is real. You can pick it up at Barnes & Noble or half.com or wherever. It has a "dare" to complete every day for 40 days. Some are as simple as doing something thoughtful for your wife. Some are as tough as choosing to let her win (and burying) the thing you most often disagree about.

But it puts her at the front of your thoughts every day for 40 days (or longer if you take off "Dare" days for vacations, traveling, holidays, etc). This thinking process helps to transport you to your youthful dating era when she was your crown and when the one thing you wanted was to have her as your own.

It seems like once you've walked her down that aisle, your desire to woo her dissipates. You no longer plan date nights or think of ways to pursue her. The hunt is done.

Guys, here's a freebie: women always want to be pursued. I can't give you a reason, except that we've been wired for that desire. Our hearts are tender and needy and demand constant attention and fine-tuning.

Your hearts are a little like weed-whacker engines. They need fuel and oil (sex in your case) and to be utilized (respected). Our hearts are more like jumbo jet engines requiring precise alignment and constant tweaking. If you leave us without proper maintenance, another curious mechanic will inevitably wander by and start to tinker.

This is not a threat. It's something I've seen over and over. Your wife needs to KNOW that you love her and want her in your life.

Maybe she's pushy or nags a lot. You don't get "guys night" enough. She wears the pants.

Let me ask you, when did you take them off? You gave her a ring and then sat back to gradually let her take on most of the relationship's responsibility. She cares for you and tends to the house, bills, meals, kids, dance classes and soccer practices. The heavy load of planning, preparing, and running things was shifted to her shoulders.

Guess what. We don't want your stinking pants! Every woman, no matter how strong she is, wants to be led by a courageous man of integrity. The problem is that for year now, Society and the Media have beat you guys down like an old rug. You've been generalized into a group of unintelligent thugs worth only the paycheck you hand over before plopping your proverbial worthless butt on the couch.

I'm not going to pretend like I know how to change that image. Other people have written books on THAT topic.

But your wife wants to be treated special. She longs to be cared for and protected. By you!

Going through the Love Dare forces you to treat your wife as you did when you were dating. I would encourage you to give it a shot and notice how her heart turns and softens. Wait and see what happens to your marriage.

I also think it's a good idea to start the Dare with a friend to help keep each of you accountable. Like I mentioned earlier, some of the dares are rather difficult, and it's helpful to have someone to bounce ideas off of AND help you not slack off and quit.

One last thing: don't tell your wife you're doing it. It's exciting to watch your spouse's attitude begin to change without her being clued in to the fact that you're going through a stupid book. It's a really neat endeavor, and I would LOVE to hear feedback in March about how your marriages have changed.

Good luck!