Putting my kids to bed last night involved a LOT of whining. I put a great deal of deliberate effort into training my kids to not whine. We have innumerable conversations about talking like a big boy/girl instead of a baby. Sometimes physical discipline is involved or privileges are revoked. I don't believe it is a "phase," because we all know too many adults who still whine when things don't go their way.
I'm no exception to this. I have been working for many months to try guarding my tongue against complaining. I know too well how prone I am to just let everyone know how I feel about things like winter and paying bills and my husband's untidiness. The bittersweet angle is that there is such a steep pile of blessings behind every one of those complaints. And since it's poor planning to try convincing someone to do something you're not modeling, I've been trying to implement it in my own life.
But my oldest is 6 years old now. Six!! It is beyond inappropriate for her to throw herself on the ground in a fit of disagreement and take the tone of "whine" with me-- or with anyone for that matter. It strikes a chord of anger in me. I wanna just kick her out the door on her butt. The worst part is that she's a teacher to her younger siblings. So you can understand my acute sense of urgency to get this thing beat!
But time and time and time again, I find us in wrestling in this whirlwind of repeated, failed messages.
After the kids were finally wrangled and snuggled into bed, I collapsed dramatically onto the couch and lamented to my husband, "We're never going to win. I feel like all I ever do is fight the same battles, and our kids aren't getting any better. All I do is fail." Caught off guard, his consoling reply was, "I bet that feels bad."
This, dear friends, is why I value my relationship with God :)
I was talking to Him about it this afternoon-- just putting it all at His feet. This is something I do often. I cry to my Daddy, ask for help, and let Him pick me back up. Today went just a little differently. Today I heard this:
"If you're already doing the best you can do, I can ask nothing more than for you to bring them to Me. Work to do your best."
What release! It's not my job to CHANGE my kids. The Bible says nothing about "changing" children. It talks a lot about directing, guiding, disciplining, and setting examples for them to follow. I had never thought of that until today.
I heard once that instead of praying for our kids to be godly, we should pray that WE would be godly. I try to do that. But it's hard not to demand that God "fix" my kids. Now.
Anyway, this was something that touched my heart today. And I think it could benefit other moms. You really can't do more than your best. God's gotta take it from there. And you've got to be the one to give it to Him :)
