Is the Lord's arm too short?

People say God is a crutch. I think they mean it to be cruel, but without Him, I know I'd spend a lot more time lying around on my face than I already do. And with the daily use of that crutch comes a sort of addiction.

One way I get my "fix" is through prayer-- just talking things out. "Gossiping" to God about all the stupid things in life, complaining about my own selfishness, just an overall venting. The bonus to blabbering it all out to Him (instead of a tangible friend) is that not only can no one get hurt, but sometimes He fixes the problem then and there. He's so cool and such a powerful friend to have.

Anyway, sometimes my prayers can become repetitious, and I have trouble saying what I'd like to say. I can't think creatively, and while I'd like to go deeper, I just can't. And so I have a few of Stormie Omartian's books, "The Power of a Praying _____."

This morning I was sitting down with her "Power of a Praying Wife," and I came across this prayer:


Lord, help me to be a good wife. I fully realize that I don't have what it takes to be one without Your help. (**There's that crutch again!)

Take my selfishness, impatience, and irritability and turn them into kindness, long-suffering, and the willingness to bear all things.

Take my old emotional habits, mindsets, automatic reactions, rude assumptions, and self-protectiveness, and make me patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled.

Take the hardness of my heart and break down the walls with Your battering ram of revelation. Give me a new heart and work in me Your love, peace, and joy (Galatians 5:22, 23). I am not able to rise above who I am at this moment. Only You can transform me.


It's so simple and straight-forward. Yet I cannot digest it. I slowly took in each of those words: patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled. In the sincerest, most honest part of my heart, I had to bare my emptiness to Christ and admit that I have none of those attributes. Not one. It's hard to even type that kind of authenticity. Because I don't want to admit it. I like to think I'm at least good. But I know my heart.

And so I sat there in complete humility, knowing He is the only path to the kind of change I need. But it's impossible. Since somewhere in elementary school, I can remember trying to be kind. Less sarcastic and harsh. It's ongoing, and I see no potential for victory. My selfishness blocks pretty much any of those wonderful traits. But I LOVE it. I like my world to look exactly as I want it to look. In raw truth, I don't want to give up my focus on myself.

In short, I see no end.

Then I looked to the next page in the book, where there's always a quaint little verse printed. And it read this:

"Whatever things you ask for when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them." Mark 11:24

And it lead me to question how much I really believe God. Do I think He's not strong enough to change me? Do I think He doesn't love me enough to care? I know the answers to these questions.

In the Old Testament (Numbers chapter 11 to be exact), when the Israelites were in the desert, God provided miraculous manna to feed them. Every day. They got sick of it, which is understandable. But then they complained and whined about how they'd rather be in slavery. God heard about it (of course), and got a little ticked off. So He pulled Moses aside and said this: "The LORD heard when you wailed. . . You will eat meat. . . You will not eat it for just one day, or two days, or five, ten or twenty days, but for a whole month—until it comes out of your nostrils and you loathe it."

Moses, being the human he is, basically said, "Yeah, okay. Whatever. You couldn't feed meat to all these people if you killed every sheep they had."

*Laura shakes her head in pity for Moses*

God responds with something I can never forget. Instead of sand blasting Moses' face off, He simply answers with a question followed by a statement. He says, "Is the LORD's arm too short? You will now see whether or not what I say will come true for you."

How can I come before the Being who thought up the universe, and think He can't or won't change me? God, show me up. Your arm is not too short.